Grandpa Ellis (January 31, 1927 - February 2, 2014)

Grandpa & Grandma Ellis (July 8, 1996)

Family and friends gathered yesterday to celebrate the life and honor the memory of my Grandpa Ellis. The occasion wasn't as sad as I had thought it would be. 

I suspect that was due to: 1) my Grandpa's physical and mental health had deteriorated considerably, 2) the fact that he made it clear that he missed his wife (and my Grandma) who passed away about 4 years ago, and 3) the personal assurance that He was with the Lord in Heaven. By God's grace, there is comfort to be had in the death of a believer.

So, it wasn't so much the thought that I would not enjoy Grandpa's physical presence anymore that bothered me. It was the fact that the body lying in the casket had belonged to the man who made so many wonderful memories for me. Those times are gone forever and now remain only in my memory and heart. I hope to never forget them.

Here are some character qualities of Grandpa that made him so special to me:

He was a person of influence.
I'll never forget that when Grandpa was at church, some of the influential men would periodically approach him and ask for his opinion or advice. The fact that he was looked to as a leader was obvious.

Yet, you would have never noticed any evidences of Grandpa's high standing among others by observing his demeanor. He didn't walk with his nose high in the air. He wasn't arrogant. He didn't have the sinful notion that he was better than others. 

He, also, didn't use his influence to bring harm upon others. He cared about people and the organizations of which he was a part. His counsel was sound and pleasing to those who sought it.

Elton Wilson

One of the memories I will always cherish was waking up at Grandpa and Grandma's house on Sunday mornings. The delicious aroma of sausage, biscuits, eggs, and other country breakfast items filled the air. As I made my way to the kitchen to eat, I would typically hear Elton Wilson on the radio preaching and inviting the radio listeners to join him for worship at Bible Baptist Church in a few hours. 

A little later that morning, I would walk into the worship center and see Bro. Wilson and he seemed larger than life. The fact that I had just heard him on the radio and that hundreds of worshipers had showed up to listen to him preach made him seem all the more like a hero to me. 

I didn't realize until yesterday that my Grandpa was the one who submitted Bro. Wilson's name to Bible Baptist Church when they were looking for a pastor. The fact that the church chose this new pastor and kept him for twenty nine years testifies to the fact of my Grandfather's influence and wise counsel.

He was fair.
If my Grandpa spent $20 on one of his grandchildren for Christmas, he was going to spend $20 on every grandchild (not $19.99 or $20.01). Sometimes, it was humorous how meticulous he would get to make certain that he was completely fair with everyone. 

No one could ever justly accuse Grandpa of playing favorites among his grandchildren (or anyone else for that matter). I suppose that the biblical story of Jacob playing favorites with Joseph by giving him the coat of many colors would have left a bitter taste in Grandpa's mouth that would have lasted for days! 

One of the occasions when Kim and I
got to spend time with Grandpa and Grandma Ellis
(July 8, 1996)

He was disciplined.
Among the many words I could use to describe Grandpa, lazy would not be one of them. He was either cleaning up, building, mending, tearing down, or sitting in his recliner thinking about the other projects he would tackle. He always seemed to be busy.

His house wasn't extravagant ... not even close. It was simple but it was always clean and well taken care of. The yard was always cut. The house was neatly painted. The bushes were manicured. The car was washed. On and on I could go. Everything was neat and in order and it was Grandpa's industriousness that kept it that way.

He was a disciplinarian.
If Grandpa ever bit his tongue, you were in serious trouble! I can't remember ever getting a paddling from Grandpa but I knew that he had a clear expectation of how things were to be. The line of 'right' and 'wrong' wasn't fuzzy at all. If you crossed the line, you'd better acknowledge the fault and make the correction.

At the time, I felt that he was a little too harsh. Now, as I look back, I realize that I not only needed clear boundaries; I know that those boundaries also provided comfort. I had a clear understanding of what right and wrong were and if I got in trouble, it was my own fault.

Grandma Ellis with my Great-Grandma Spears

He was caring.
I'll will never forget that Grandpa would often check on some folks who he believed were having a tough time. He cared for his sister Margie. He faithfully took Grandma down to her old home place to care for her mom (my Great-Grandma Spears). When Grandma showed up to do some cleaning and chatting with her mom (it seemed that we usually stayed 2-3 hours), Grandpa would get information on what wasn't working in the house. While Grandma cleaned and visited, Grandpa was hard at work taking care of his mother-in-law's needs. I never heard him complain one single time at any inconvenience this may have posed for him.

I rarely remember a day when I was visiting with Grandpa that he wasn't bringing up the name of someone who needed to be checked on. I also knew that at any moment, Grandpa would provide some last minute instructions to Grandma as he gathered his wallet and keys to head out the door to help someone.

Zach, Sean & Joseph playing checkers with Grandpa
in the nursing home

He was a comedian.
Grandpa never told jokes ... at least I never heard him tell one. Even as a joke was told that had everyone laughing, he would smirk for a little bit before deciding if he was going to laugh. But, when he laughed, you could hear it next door.

But, while he never told jokes, he was something of a jokester. If he knew that by doing something out of character for him that he could get a laugh from others, he'd seriously consider surprising everyone and doing it.

I only saw my Grandpa kiss my Grandma once in my whole life. I remember the occasion vividly. We were visiting with my grandparents and someone came up with the idea of Grandpa giving Grandma a kiss. As they both sat side-by-side on the living room couch, Grandma blushed a little and Grandpa gave a chuckle as he got that look in his eye that said he just may do it. To our shock, after a few more verbal attempts at getting them to kiss, virtually everyone in the room dropped their jaw as Grandpa reaching over to Grandma and giving her a kiss ... On.The.Mouth!!! He knew it would create a reaction among us (not necessarily from Grandma) so he went through with it. We laughed for a long time about that one.


I will sorely miss Grandpa Ellis just as I have missed my Grandma Ellis (click here to read about my reflections of her). I am comforted that they are both with the Lord now. Until that time that I can rejoin them, I will choose to often revisit those special memories with them that line the walls of my mind.