Why our marriages matter

DAILY BIBLE READING:

Deuteronomy 11:1-12:32
Luke 8:22-39
Psalm 70:1-5
Proverbs 12:4

BIBLE VERSE(S) FOR TODAY:

Proverbs 12:4 (CSB) "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a wife who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones."

REFLECTIONS ON TODAY'S BIBLE VERSE(S):

The verse for today is from a guy's perspective. If Proverbs had been written by a woman, it would have said, "A husband of noble character is his wife's crown, but a husband who causes shame is like rottenness in her bones."

I suspect that you realize that many marriages end in divorce and many that remain intact feel like their spouses are "rottenness to (their) bones."

That is so sad especially in light of the fact that Ephesians 5:22-33 tells us that our marriages illustrate the Gospel to a lost world. Our marriages should reveal how Jesus sacrificially loves us and we trust and respect Him so much that we gladly follow his leadership.

A marriage that has any "rottenness" in it is doing harm to the Gospel!

As a follower of Jesus, we don't have the luxury of coasting in our marriage. It takes work. It takes sacrifice. It takes humility. It takes communication (talking AND listening). It takes God's Word. It takes the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. 

All of this and more is required to have the kind of marriage that shows a lost world the Gospel. But, if we do the work as God blesses, we will come to realize that we benefit. We will come to see that our spouse will be "(our) crown." That means that it is a very powerful force within our lives to give us value and joy.

So, NEVER, EVER use the "D" word in your marriage. Divorce is simply not an option for Kim and me. I've told her that if she ever leaves me, I'm going with her.

Instead, do the hard work of marriage building. God will be glorified, the Gospel will be illustrated, and you will get the joy.

My response to a defense of the bdsm lifestyle

__________, your apparent defense of bdsm (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism) relationships is unconscionable. The verse that immediately comes to mind is Isaiah 5:20 where is says, "What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter."

Since you said that you are "glad that people are talking about it more now," let me talk about it for a few moments.

First, the one who receives the punishment is really showing much about themselves. It is a fact of life that folks act out (and allow others to act toward them) based upon how they see themselves. A simple moment's reflection validates my point.

So, that being said, when someone feels like a person of value, they expect that others will treat them that way. When someone feels worthless, they allow (and expect) others to treat them that way.

For a Christ-follower, we realize that if we are mistreated we are to pray for our abuser because they are not behaving in a way that is right and appropriate (Matthew 5:44). We recognize the wrong that is happening because they are mistreating a person of value (created in God's image and also a child of God) so we pray for them.

Yet, when someone accepts (even craves) abuse from others, it reveals something very dark about that person's thinking. It shows how they view themselves. It reveals that they feel deserving of such treatment ... that they feel unloved, or uncared for, or unvalued.

That's the power of the mind God has given us. We may not be able to explain what's going on in our thinking but all we have to do is observe how we act and how we expect others to act around us to see the health (or lack thereof) of our thinking.

Second and finally, the one who dishes out the punishment shows much about themselves, too. Someone who finds sexual gratification in abusing someone else is desperately wicked.

The Bible commands a husband to love his wife just like the love that Jesus has for us (Ephesians 5:25). That kind of love is described further in Ephesians 5:29 where is says, "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the Church." (No abuse language found there!) Further, 1 Peter 3:7 commands husbands to "live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel." In other words, treat her respectfully and carefully. Guys who abuse their wives (or any other woman in their lives) are in no way demonstrating Christ's love.

The kind of "love" that would abuse the object of one's affection is perversion. It reveals a domineering, totalitarian, self-love rather than the submissive, self-sacrificing love that husbands and wives are commanded to have for each other.

For the world system that is in a moral free-fall, I am not surprised that such behavior is becoming accepted and even applauded. In fact, we read in Romans 1:18-32 that when a society progresses in that free-fall, sexual deviancy is a major part.

But, for the follower of Jesus, there is no room for such behavior or the approval thereof. While we reguarly fall short of God's standard and must daily receive God's grace and forgiveness, we also realize that there are certain things that God commands and certain things He prohibits ... for our good. The bdsm lifestyle is clearly where we part ways.

God's Design for the Family (Ephesians 5:22-6:4)

On Sunday mornings, I've enjoyed

preaching through the book of Ephesians. Most recently, I have spent time in Ephesians 5:22-33 sharing biblical truths about how husbands and wives are to relate to each other in their marriage.

To view the sermon videos, simply click on the titles given below:


God's Design for Wives (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33)

God's Design for Husbands (Ephesians 5:25-27)

God's Design for Husbands - Part 2 (Ephesians 5:28-33)

God's Design for Children (Ephesians 5:1-3) (will preach on October 26)

God's Design for Parents (Ephesians 5:4) (will preach on November 2)