Our 20th Anniversary (Donaldson Baptist Church / 2002-2006)

(To read Part 1, "Our First Five Years," click here.)

  

Kim getting a kiss from her mom on our wedding day.

To reiterate as I did in my previous post, Kim and I are approaching our 20th anniversary and I wanted to recount some of the highlights of our story. Doing so has helped me to make some sense of the individual events as I look at the story as a whole. It has reminded me that God doesn't simply let things happen in our lives - He's writing a story and we're in it! 

That's why YOU need to keep a journal, too. You will miss the story unless you document it and then read back over it at some point in the future.

Also, I want to lay a ground rule. As my family reached the summer of 2002, we embarked on a time when I entered the full-time pastoral ministry. I've been pastoring ever since with three separate churches. While I will point out some of the highs and lows (as I did in my previous post) to document our story, I will not intentionally include anything that would place anyone in a bad light. I have made plenty of mess-ups in my ministry. On the other hand, my wife and I have been the object of quite a few personal attacks (anyone in leadership is). But, God received the glory in some of those matters and friendships were forged where it seemed impossible. Other matters remain unresolved but I don't want to undermine the potential for reconciliation in any way. So, I will gloss over or simply pass over some things in my attempt to share the story of Kim's and my marriage as I began pastoring.

2002

Donaldson Baptist Church, Princeton, Kentucky

The move to Princeton was a step of faith for me. Growing up in a pastor's home, I knew some of what full-time ministry was like. I saw the strain. I heard the frustration vented on Sunday evenings. I remember hearing of troublesome deacons. I knew how quickly business meetings could spiral out of control. I knew that all it took was one discontented member who began to gossip and a pastor could be fired. I knew that folks in sin that a pastor lovingly confronted often responded in anger. On and on I could go. Ministry can be hard. And I was about to embark on my own ministry "career."

This picture appeared in the Princeton newspaper, The Times Leader

But, in some ways, it was an even bigger step of faith for Kim. She was only a few months past her cancer / kidney surgery. No insurance company in their right mind would sign her up with such preexisting conditions. So, when we prayerfully agreed that God was moving us to Princeton, we began cobra'ing out my insurance not knowing what would happen at the end of the 18 months. We knew that most insurance companies wouldn't even touch her for at least 5 or more years. And, after 18 months, if we couldn't get insurance, it would almost certainly seal our financial ruin if Kim should experience another health issue. But, Kim was willing to take that step of faith, trusting the Lord to provide. I stood in admiration of such faith!

Bro. Wallace York

Fortunately, Bro. Wallace York had paved the way for us. He had been the interim pastor at Donaldson Baptist for awhile and said that it was a wonderful church. He said that they would love us to death. As I look back on our time at Donaldson, I would heartily agree. There were times that a member would simply drop by to give us some fresh sausage or armloads of vegetables from their garden. This sort of thing happened all the time - they welcomed us into their life. But, they did something in our second year of ministry that still melts my heart when I think about it. I'll share that in a little bit. I just want to say that the folks at Donaldson made Kim's and my entrance into pastoral ministry so much easier than some of my pastor friends experienced.

Kim and I would readily acknowledge that I went into this ministry so naive. I was "green" in all senses of the word. But, this church was so forgiving and patient. While some churches cause pastors to question their calling only a few years after beginning their journey, this church made it easy. Honestly, Kim and I needed this after the events of the previous 4 years.

Kim was able to stay home with our boys for the first couple of years. We enjoyed
exploring the country roads around our home and church.

There were some extra special relationships that God gave us to enjoy. At Gano Avenue Baptist Church, God graciously brought Robert (Papaw) and Ann (Nana) Brock into our lives. Our friendship with them runs deep and continues to this day. And at Donaldson, we were almost immediately drawn to Steve, Dee, and Denver Watson. It seemed to us that Dee bore a striking resemblance to Kim's deceased mom and Denver felt like a younger brother to Kim. (We simply tolerated Steve. HA). There were many Saturdays when Kim would walk the half mile route to Dee's house with our boys to spend time with her. And virtually every Sunday evening, Dee would take our boys to her home for an hour or two so that Kim and I could spend some time together or with our church youth.
 

Kim, and her brother, Keith, at my parent's home (November 2002)

When we traveled to my parent's home ten miles south of Paris, Tennessee, we often stopped in Murray. It was essentially the half-way mark. The McDonald's provided us with the opportunity to grab some food and visit the restroom as we continued on our journey. Little did we realize that in 11 or so years, I would be pastoring in this city.

2003

This year was filled with activity. I spent much time studying for sermons (and preparing for my ministry). I visited homebound members and those in the hospital. We had vacation Bible school and a Fall hayride. I also think it was this year that we knocked on every door within a 2-3 mile radius of the church. The folks at Donaldson were willing to try just about anything I suggested.
  

Enjoying some family time at Land Between the Lakes (March 2003)

It also provided a time for Kim to slow down and rest after the previous five years. She was able to stay at home with our young boys and begin homeschooling Zach. In our spare time, we loved going to Land Between the Lakes and hiking the paved trail (with a stroller, of course) between the North Welcome Center and the Hillman Ferry Campground. We often just enjoyed the simplicity of life ... and that was so therapeutic for us at that time.

Leroy Oliver, Zach and Sean on the tractor.

One day in early Spring, Leroy Oliver showed up with his tractor. He heard that Kim loved to garden so he wanted to till up some of our back yard. Our boys hopped onto the tractor and had the time of their life. But, I also noticed the sparkle in Kim's eyes that showed that she was about to have the time of her life. She was going to grow things and feed her family ... and she loved it!

Oh, and by the way, there were times when our massive garden needed extra watering. If you look at the above picture, you'll see the second window from the left (front of the building). When I baptized someone, I didn't waste the water after the worship service. I siphoned the water out of the baptistery by running a hose from the baptistery, through that window, down to our garden! The more baptisms we had, the greener our garden was!

With Reed Franklin (Chairman of Deacons) in Zacatecas, Mexico.

This was also the year that I went with our Baptist Association to Mexico on a mission trip. I felt more than comfortable leaving Kim behind because I knew she was going to be looked after by our church family. There was an occasion when our mission team felt that our lives were in danger in Tlachichila, Mexico. Someone discharged their weapon outside our restaurant window which was a clear warning to leave their small village. (We had previously heard that the Catholic priest had warned the people of our arrival.) I wondered if I would be coming back. We stayed and shared the Gospel but I was so glad to get back home to my wife and boys!

2004

The church parsonage and our home (Winter 2003/2004)

Reenter insurance issue: Our insurance ran out after we cobra'ed it for 18 months. Our previous assessments were correct - no insurance company would touch Kim. Fortunately, she had found out that Kentucky had a program called Kentucky Access. They would write her a policy regardless of preexisting conditions - but at a steep cost. I can't remember who suggested that the church pick up some of the costs for our insurance. (I don't think Kim or I would have done that.) This was very awkward because many of the precious folks in the church didn't have insurance nor the money to afford it. Well, the discussion and vote was to take place on a Wednesday night during a business meeting. It just so happened that I raced to the Caldwell County Hospital that afternoon, was diagnosed with acute appendicitis and was undergoing surgery during the vote. So, as the winter snow began to fall and the church entered into the business meeting, they graciously voted to cover our insurance.
  

Undated photo of Kim's mom and dad

On April 9th, Kim got a very difficult phone call. She was told that her dad had died. He was found in his living room floor and had been there for at least a few days. We suspect he died of complications from undiagnosed diabetes. This was tragic news! We privately wondered if he was in Heaven or Hell. He had previously claimed a walk with the Lord but had never given much evidence that he was truly born again. Yet, a neighbor told our family that in the 2-3 months before his death, Kim's dad had been engaged in a Bible study and was showing clear signs that he had been reconciled with his Lord. In a few days, we attended his funeral. His body was soon laid to rest beside Kim's mom.
  

Kim with guest speaker, Barbara Hillyard

I don't know how she did it but Kim led Donaldson Baptist Church's women to have their first ever women's conference only 3 weeks after her father's funeral. I'm telling you, God has wired Kim like a Timex watch - she takes a licking and keeps on ticking. She's not superwoman - she's get worn down - she's just got an inner drive to keep going even when life gets tough. And the women's conference that she and the ladies of Donaldson put on this year was incredible. They packed the sanctuary. It was so well liked that they had another ladies conference the following year and invited Tanya York to be the guest speaker.

Our Toyota Camry

Now, I'm about about share something else that happened in this year. It left Kim and me in awe. We had never felt so loved by a church than on this occasion. It was in the summer(?) of this year that I took my Toyota Camry to a shop to get the brakes checked. The next thing I know, a technician is telling me that my 5-year-old car blew a rod when they took it for a spin. (Much later, I found out that the guy who took my car out liked to gun the engines.) Well, now we were in a mess! We needed the car but didn't have the thousands of dollars required to fix it. 

I'll never forget the following Sunday morning when I stood up to give the announcements - Mark Burton walked to the pulpit and asked me to step aside for a moment. He informed the church that our car needed a new engine and that some of the folks had talked and and were going to pay for it. I couldn't believe it! These weren't folks with deep pockets - they were simply folks with gracious hearts. I stepped back to the microphone and thanked them. I told them that some of our friends from Gano Avenue Baptist Church (Robert & Ann Brock and Earl & Sue Wilson) were going to purchase a re-manufactured engine. So, Donaldson paid for the installation. Denver Watson took our car into the care of his shed on the hill overlooking the church and installed the engine. We will never forget that!

Some of the group we took to see the Bellevue Baptist Singing Christmas Tree

The rest of this year was filled with fun events. Kim and I took our family for a short vacation to Cedars of Lebanon. I served as a chaplain for a week at Kentucky Dam Village. We went to Indianapolis for a few days to see the Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibit. Finally, we took a group of the youth and some adults to Bellevue Baptist Church to see The Singing Christmas Tree. Kim and I had not been back to see this show since I proposed to her. This was a very special trip!

Giving a plaque to Jim (and Margaret) Stallins upon his retirement

I also think that this was the year that Jim Stallins resigned. He believed that he needed to step aside and let someone younger lead the music. Kim and I loved he and his wife Margaret. Our boys spent quite a bit of time at their house when Margaret watched them so Kim and I could go visiting or go on a date. Jim was also as good as they come.  He was our part-time music leader at that time. He would be the first to tell anyone that his voice wasn't what it used to be - but he brought so much more to the table. His calm and quiet demeanor, his commitment to the Lord, his unquestionable integrity and so much more caused people to listen to him when he talked. He and I had a mutual love and respect for each other. He was one of the many folks at Donaldson that made my time there go so smoothly. 

I'll share one more thing about Jim and Margaret if you (Donaldson folks) promise not to tell them. My laptop broke down as I was approaching my final year of seminary. I didn't need a portable computer but it sure made things easier. Jim heard that my computer broke down and came over to the parsonage one day. He sat down on the front steps, pulled out his check book, and told me he was going to pay for me to get another laptop. I resisted. I knew he didn't have the money to spend on things like this. But, he insisted. I later found out that he sold one of his cows to get the money to purchase my new laptop. (If that doesn't melt your heart, nothing will.)

2005

Room for growth

I've heard of building projects that cause havoc in churches. Fortunately, I've never experienced that. Part of my willingness to embark on the project was my naivety. We needed a larger fellowship hall, handicap accessible restrooms and some Sunday School rooms. So, we did it. I don't remember much about raising funds - the people just gave. I don't remember any major church disagreements or anything of the sort as the project took place. We just got it done.

With my mom and dad at SBTS (May 14, 2005)

In May, I finally graduated with my master's degree from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. This was a LONG time coming. I finished my degree in just about every way possible - I did a couple of semesters online; I traveled to a seminary extension at the Nashville Lifeway building; and Donaldson let me travel to Louisville from Tuesday to Thursday every week for a couple of semesters. 

A couple of church members vocalized their concern that we would leave for another church that summer after getting my degree. But, I just didn't believe God was in it. We were settled in and we would leave when God made it clear that it was time.

Kim, Zach, Sean & Joseph (who will be born in 3 months)

  

On August 22, we formally welcomed Joseph into our family. Given the incidents that had taken place during Zach and Sean's births, Kim wasn't at all in good spirits that morning. She just wanted the birth over and to hold her third son in her arms. The C-section at Western Baptist Hospital was textbook. As I sat beside Kim during the procedure, she was praising the Lord (audibly) that He was making this birth so uneventful. Soon, we heard that familiar cry as we celebrated the fact that our family was complete. We thought about nicknaming our boys Eenie, Meenie, and Miney because we weren't going to have no Moe.

In December, we traveled to Bradenton, Florida to visit Kim's Aunt Norma. As I mentioned in a previous post, Kim loves to travel and explore. I would have never suggested going to Florida but I'm glad she talked me into it. It was a very enjoyable trip. We visited a park where we had to watch out for alligators on the trail. We went to Disney (on probably the busiest day of the year!). And we enjoyed simply hanging out with Kim's mom's sister. I remembered thinking how fun it would be to live in Florida. Little did I realize that in 6 months, we would be moving there!

2006

  

As the new year started, I wanted to add some extra responsibilities to my plate. I had finished with seminary, at least for awhile, and I wanted to look for more opportunities to share God's Word with others. The Director of Missions, Rick Reeder, approached me about teaching a seminary extension class at the Baptist Association building. I gladly accepted. I think the class lasted for about 2-3 months but it was fun! I enjoyed every minute! The students in the class purchased the "NIV Archaeological Study Bible" and gave it to me as a gift at the conclusion of the course.

After I preached the sermon at our annual Baptist Association meeting the previous Fall, a retired pastor-friend of mine said that he believed God was about to "expand my territory." He believed that I needed to be open to the next opportunity God sent my way. Sometime at the end of 2005 or the beginning of 2006, I began conversations with the Pastor Search Committee of the First Baptist Church in Brooksville, Florida. In May 2006, we became Floridians! And Kim would take one of the biggest steps of faith in her whole life.

(Click here to continue:
"The First Baptist Church" years)

To Give or Not to Give, That is the Question

As we read through the Bible, there will be times when two passages seem to contradict. We cannot imagine how they can both be reconciled because they seem to contradict each other.

Coming to this conclusion is a very good thing! Why? Because, first of all, it means we're paying attention to what we are reading. Second, it means the Holy Spirit is reminding of us of relevant passages to what we have just read. Third, it may cause us to dig deeper, and in so doing, cause our knowledge of God's Word to become more complete and coherent.

Two passages that would seem to contradict each other are:

Matthew 5:42 "Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you."

2 Thessalonians 3:10 "For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat."

The obvious problem arises when someone who isn't willing to work decides to beg and you are the object of their attention. Are you, therefore, obligated to obey Matthew 5:42 and thus break 2 Thessalonians 3:10?

Let's spend some time investigating these verses to see how they work together.

First, 2 Thessalonians 3:10 is clear cut. There is no ambiguity. God, through the Apostle Paul, is making it clear that if someone is able to work and has opportunities to work to provide for their family, then they had better do it. 

The context was a misinformed understanding of end times events. Paul have previously told the church at Thessalonica that Jesus was coming back and they needed to be ready (see 1 Thessalonians 4:13-5:11). Apparently, some of them thought he was coming back within the week! So, Paul wrote them again and told them that there were things that needed to happen before Jesus came back (see 2 Thessalonians 2:1-12). Further, Paul had to rebuke them and tell them to get back to work (2 Thessalonians 3:10-12). Apparently, some got so excited about Jesus' return that they quit their jobs and were relying upon others to take care of them.

It is in this context that God, through Paul, told them and us that if we are able to work and there are opportunities to work to provide for our families, we'd better do it. 

How serious is it if we can provide for ourselves and our family but don't?

1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Did you get that? Someone who can work but doesn't is worse than someone who will spend eternity in Hell. Serious stuff! 

God loves a good work ethic. He loves it when we provide for those under our care. And He despises it when we don't take that responsibility seriously.

Enter Matthew 5:42...

So, what if someone comes to you and begs? What if they ask for money, you've got it to give and you want to comply with Scripture - which includes the command of Matthew 5:42. What are you to do?

Well, let's look at the context of Matthew 5:42. Because, a text without a context is only a pretext.

When I turn to my Bible in Matthew 5, I notice that I've previously underlined some things. Specifically, I have underlined, "You have heard," and "But I say." Those words appear in Matthew 5:21-22, 27-28, 31-32, 33-34, 38-39, 43-44. 

It is clear what Jesus is doing - He is telling them what they have previously believed is wrong. So, He elaborates and tells them what the true intent of the law was. They had made it superficial, limited only to behaviors. Jesus said that it was internal, focused upon the attitude of our hearts.

But - and get this point - a heart attitude does not always necessitate a corresponding action. (Got your interest? Keep reading.)

When we wonder what it looks like to live out our life of faith, we simply need to look to Jesus. He ultimately came to pay the sin debt of all who would believe but He also lived for about 33 years so that we could observe His life and strive to live like Him. (This is the essence of Christlikeness.)

So, did Jesus always give to those who asked?

Well, when we look at the mob who came for Him in the Garden of Gethesemane, when we look at the mock trial led by the Sanhedrin, and when we look to the cross, we see clearly that the Jewish leaders had no right to claim His life. Yet, when we read the story, we see that Jesus quietly let it happen. They were asking for His life and He gave it.

So, in this instance, Jesus certainly complied with the spirit of Matthew 5:42. There were those who were "begging" for His life and He didn't refuse them.

Yet, there were other times when people asked things of Jesus that He refused to give. Just one instance is found in Mark 1. Listen to what happened the night before He denied a request.

Mark 1:32-34 "That evening at sundown they brought to him all who were sick or oppressed by demons. And the whole city was gathered together at the door. And he healed many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons. And he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him."

The knowledge of Jesus' miracle-working power was widespread. People were coming from everywhere to be healed. They "begged" and Jesus didn't refuse them (see Matthew 5:42).

He may have stayed up well into the night healing people. But, the morning hours found Him out in a private place, away from all of the commotion of the previous day, communing with His Heavenly Father (Mark 1:35).

But, apparently, news continued to spread and people began gathering at Peter's house early that morning, too. So, what was Peter to do? He went out looking for Jesus! Listen to what Scripture says:

Mark 1:36-37 "And Simon and those who were with him searched for him, and they found him and said to him, 'Everyone is looking for you.'"

In other words, "There are more people who want to be healed, Jesus. Can you hurry up with your prayer time so you can come back and grant the people's requests?"

What do you think Jesus said? Did He say, "Well, they are asking so I have to do what they say. I can't say 'no'."? Knowing of the truth of Matthew 5:42, did He feel compelled to bind Himself to the people's requests? Nope.

Mark 1:38 "And he said to them, 'Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.'"

In other words, "There are many other people that have physical needs, too. But, even more importantly than that, people have spiritual needs. If I stay and grant the endless requests to meet the physical needs, I won't be able to help more people with their spiritual needs."

So, the requests of the people in Capernaum went unanswered. 

On it's face, this would seem to be a violation of Matthew 5:42 unless we realize that Jesus' words deal primarily with the heart and only secondarily the actions. 

It is my understanding of Matthew 5:42 that we are commanded to have a heart that is always ready and willing to give to whoever asks and not refuse those who desire to borrow from us. And, this heart attitude should often evidence itself in the action of giving to those who beg and not refusing those who desire to borrow from us.

Yet, we are not compelled in every situation to do so. Our love (the greatest command) for others means that we will desire to do what is in their best interest. If they are hungry, get them something to eat. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. If they are behind in their rent, you may want to help them catch up if you are able.

But, love also means that we will not do things that will work to harm those we help. If we believe that in helping someone, that we are empowering them to continue in laziness and thus run headlong into 1 Timothy 5:8 where God says that they are worse than people on their way to Hell, why in the world would we do that?!

So, always, always, always, be willing to help others. Our Lord has even shown us that we are to be prepared to sacrifice for the benefit of others (He did that on the cross). But, there will be times when we are complying with Matthew 5:42 and maintaining a heart that is ready to help others ... and yet believe that a request for help should be denied.

Friend, this is why God has given us the Holy Spirit. We need His Word to inform our minds. But, we also need the Holy Spirit to guide our steps as we live out our lives and seek to comply with God's Word.

Being filled with the Holy Spirit isn't a suggestion (Ephesians 5:18). It is an absolute necessity!

God wants to reward you!

Something within us knows that when we do something well, celebration is in order. Some achievements are even worthy of an award. 

Further, we know that it feels really good when others acknowledge our significant achievements by showing up for the award ceremony. After all, graduation diplomas, race medals, and other forms of recognition could easily be handed out privately (or even as a .pdf download in an email). But, we go all out for big celebrations and invite our family and friends to the occasion.

We were made to achieve and made to crave the affirmation that comes when we achieve.

That desire to be awarded and affirmed is not wrong. It is just misplaced if what we do is simply for the praise of people. 

Listen to Jesus as He gives the first of three warnings, all of which tell us not to crave the praise of people:

Matthew 6:1 (NLT): "Watch out! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven."

From this simple verse, I want to draw out some very basic principles:

• God plans to reward us for our good deeds! But, we will have to wait. It will ultimately happen at the Judgment Seat and for the rest of eternity.
• It's not just what we do - it's WHY we do it. We can do a very good deed and yet do it with a wrong motive which will wipe out all hopes for a reward from our Heavenly Father.
• It's not necessary wrong to be applauded by others and to enjoy it. We just can't make their affirmation our aim.
• It's not even wrong to do our good deeds in front of other people so long as we don't do it for their affirmation. Given our sinful propensities and craving for human affirmation, it is often better to simply do our good deeds behind the scenes.

So, why is it so wrong to crave the affirmation of our peers? Let me give you a few reasons:

• If we live for the praise of others, we will be elated when they give praise and depressed when they withhold it.
• If we live for the praise of others, we may forego doing a good thing (or do it poorly) when we think no one will notice.
• If we live for the praise of others, it shows that we have elevated people above God. We crave their approval more than His. So, we have broken the first commandment ("You shall have no other gods before Me.").
• If we live for the praise of others, then we may get some pleasure from their applause but it will only last for a few moments. Shortly thereafter, we are left to relive the moment in our memories because the applause is now over.
• If we live for the praise of others, then when they applaud us (or don't), we received what we desired. If we didn't do it to receive God's affirmation, He is under no obligation to give it ... because we didn't crave it.
• But, if we live for the praise of God, then others can applaud us but we aren't consumed by their praise. We didn't do it for them. We did it for the Lord. And we know that when He applauds us, it will be much more satisfying and His reward will last for eternity.

So, if you want applause that will satisfy the deepest recesses of your soul and a reward that will last for all of eternity, then don't do your good deeds for others. They may see and may applaud you but don't do it for that. Do it for the Lord. He won't let you down.

Tough love

I don't know about you but sometimes loving others is virtually impossible. (And by love, I mean the biblical kind of love. Biblical love puts others first and even makes personal sacrifices if it would bless others.)

Sure, it's easy to love family and friends. It's easy to love those who treat us well.

But, it's quite another thing to love someone who has mistreated us. It's even harder to love someone who is currently mistreating us.

Well, if we are followers of Jesus, we don't have an option. To be truly Christlike, we are commanded to love those who treat us well and love those who mistreat us. If that was a little complicated, then putting it simply, we are commanded to love everyone.

Just listen to Jesus' words:

Matthew 5:43-47 (NLT) "You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that."

This is a rather easy principle to understand. The difficult part is putting it into practice.

So, let's just get right to the point: Who has hurt you that you are holding ill will against? Now, will you ask the Lord to help you love them? (We're talking first and foremost in your actions. Your feelings can come along at a later time.)

Our 20th Anniversary (the first 5 years)

It's hard to believe that Kim and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage on May 10th of this year (2017). In some ways, it seems like our wedding day was a very, very long time ago. Yet, in other ways, it seems like only yesterday.

To say that our life has been a roller coaster - a series of incredible highs and devastating lows - would not be an exaggeration. But, that is the sort of story that we love to read and watch. We love stories that take us for a ride - that leave us smiling at times and weeping at others. 

(I would encourage YOU to journal so that you can look back over the story of your life. Doing so often helps us to see a little more clearly what God is doing and helps us to make sense of the individual events that, in the moment, we questioned.)

So, on the occasion of our upcoming anniversary, I want to document some of the highlights of our married life. In this first post, I will begin on the occasion when I first saw Kim until, 5 years after our wedding, I moved my family to Princeton, Kentucky where I took my first pastorate.

Finally, I will share brief things about each family member but will focus my spotlight primarily on Kim. It is through her that I have learned much more about my wonderful God. She has experienced a multitude of tragedies. While they have taken their toll, her relationship with her Lord has grown much deeper through them. I am a much better man for having a front row seat to the life of such a child of God!

1993

Kim and her two younger brothers (circa 1993)

This is the first year that I noticed Kim. I vividly remember when she walked into a Sunday School gathering with a red dress on. I was captivated! (She was a member at the church I had joined in 1989.) But, I distinctly remember thinking that my chances of ever going on a date with her were slim to none. (Besides, she was a couple of years older than me.) So, I graduated from college in Lexington (May 1994) and moved to Memphis to work on my Master's degree.

1996

My sister's wedding was quickly approaching when she told me that she wanted me to meet her soon to be sister-in-law. It was Kim! Our first date was in April 1996 and we immediately fell in love. Honestly, if we had married a couple of weeks after we met, I think that would have been perfectly fine with both of us.

At Natural Bridge State Park in Slade, Kentucky

We dated long-distance for the entirety of our one year dating relationship. She lived and worked in Lexington, Kentucky while I lived, worked, and went to seminary in Memphis, Tennessee. We spent a LOT of time talking on the phone. But, quite often, I'd travel to Lexington and stay with my brother or she'd travel to Memphis and stay with the fiance of one of my friends. Anything would serve as an excuse so that we could spend more time together.

A friend surprised me with Dr. Adrian Rogers' new book and a personal note
inside of it. Kim and I loved the ministry of Dr. Rogers and were so glad that
our engagement took place under his shadow.
(The book title is so appropriate! I still can't believe God worked a miracle and
gave Kim to me!)

On December 14, 1996, Kim came to Memphis with a group of other singles to watch Bellevue Baptist Church's Singing Christmas Tree. I was on staff at Bellevue at the time and had grown to develop a huge respect for Dr. Adrian Rogers. So, I thought that attending the Christmas program on the night I asked her to marry me would be very appropriate. I had an idea of where and how I would ask her to marry me after the program ended ... but I got cold feet. So, we went to drive through a park that had a paid entry to view the spectacular Christmas light show. When that ended, I was getting panicky. I was absolutely going to ask Kim to marry me - but WHERE? Then, it hit me. With my love and respect for Pastor Rogers and his ministry, I took Kim back to Bellevue. The front lawn was beautifully lit for the occasion. We stepped out into the extremely cold air and I dropped to one knee and asked my Sweetheart to marry me. She began to shed tears and so I asked her again. I could have jumped over the moon when she said, "Yes."

1997

I have to admit that I thought it was a really silly idea to get "engagement pictures" taken. But, I'm so glad that Kim insisted. Here's one of our "engagement pictures" taken in January(?) 1997.

Standing on the spot where I proposed to Kim. We will be married in less
than a month!

In April, Kim came back to Memphis. She had an incredible job in Lexington but was anticipating our marriage and wanted to get a job in Memphis so I could finish my Master's Degree at Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary. She had some great interviews and one company flew her to their corporation ... but nothing panned out. Then, I called my former boss in Lexington and he rehired me. So, the plans were set to move back to Lexington. 
When we considered the events of the first two years of our marriage, it became obvious why God graciously kept Kim from getting a job in Memphis.

I LOVE this picture. Kim and her mom are enjoying a laugh at a wedding shower.
Unfortunately, neither of them knew that in exactly one year, Jo Ann would be
diagnosed with cancer that would take her life 9 months later.

May 10 approached! It was our wedding day! Except for my lapse of memory that required that I race back to my place to get Kim's wedding ring, everything went off without a hitch. Kim and I stood at the front of Ashland Avenue Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky. Dr. Hershael York presided over the ceremony. (We were the last wedding he performed at AABC. He soon resigned as pastor and started his teaching career at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.) I'm being completely honest when I say that I still can't believe that she said, "I do."

Kim was teaching a 3rd grade girls Sunday School class
at the time so she asked each of their parents if they could
be her flower girls.

"She's mine!!!"

Enjoying the view inside and outside of the cable car in Gatlinburg.

We honeymooned in Gatlinburg for a week and loved every minute of it! But - and I don't know if other married couples experience this - it felt a little weird at times. We had dated long-distance for a year but realized that we still didn't know each other as well as we thought. We also asked each other more than once on our honeymoon, "Are we really married? Did that really happen?"

Had fun at Bluegrass Aspendale Housing Projects!

We used the summer to settle into marriage and get into the mindset of handling a schedule that included two people, not simply one. To say that marriage takes adjustments is an understatement. But, if you truly love someone and are committed to loving them in the good times AND in the bad, you've got a great story ahead of you! One of the fun things we did together that summer was lead a Backyard Bible Study in north Lexington. It was exhausting and exhilarating at the same time!

Kim, her mom, and Grandma "Nannie" Little

Our first significant valley came four months after our marriage. Kim's grandmother, who Kim called her "rock," passed away on September 12. Kim's home life had been tough. With a very abusive father and all of the complications that came from it, Kim would often retreat to Campton, Kentucky to visit with Grandma Little. And now she was gone. 

In October, I went to the "Standing in the Gap" Promise Keepers Rally in Washington, D.C. Since 1995, when I saw God move powerfully in revival (read about it here), I have craved to see Him do it again. While "revival" didn't happen at the rally, it was so encouraging to see hundreds of thousands of men praying, listening to God's Word and committing to live according to it.

1998

This picture was taken a year earlier at our wedding rehearsal dinner.

Seven months after her grandma passed away, and less than a year after our wedding, I sat with Kim and her mom in a room in Lexington Clinic. Her mom had been having some painful symptoms and tests had been run. On this day, with test results in hand, the doctor stepped into the room, looked Jo Ann in the eyes and said that it looked as if she had Multiple Myeloma. (In simplistic terms, cells in the bone marrow become acidic and eat away at the bone. It is a horribly painful way to die.) Kim, being a fighter, insisted that we were going to beat this. 

Her mom came to live with us but, within a few days, sustained a broken shoulder and hip after a fall. The cancer had already done much damage in dissolving her bones. My heart broke as I watched Kim work a full-time job and then spend hours taking care of her mom each evening for the next nine months. She grew exhausted ... and scared.

When it became obvious that her mom was probably not going to beat this battle with cancer, Kim wanted to get pregnant so that her mom could hold our child in her arms before she passed. Kim was soon carrying Zach in her womb.

Kim and a group from our College and Career Class. (October 1998)

One of the joys that Kim and I had during this time was a College and Career Sunday School class that I taught at Ashland Avenue Baptist Church. I loved teaching but we also took trips together ... Kim has always loved to travel and explore. (College and Career classes are sometimes filled with people who are lonely. They are single [maybe dating] and typically crave relationships. We wanted to provide that for them. They don't realize how much they blessed us during that time!)

1999

On January 11, Jo Ann passed away in Lexington's St. Joseph Hospital. All of her family was in the Hospice Wing room when she went to be with her Lord. Kim collapsed into a chair and wept uncontrollably. Her mom was now gone, too. And she would never be able to hold our child in her arms this side of Heaven. Kim was 5 months pregnant.

Kim and I in Gatlinburg (February 28, 1999)

Kim was overwhelmed with grief. Less than a year and a half into our marriage and she had experienced the death of the two women who had meant the most to her. And she had a precious life growing inside of her. She was so afraid that if she she allowed herself to collapse under the grief, that Zach may sustain some lifelong problems as he grew in her body. So, in February, we decided to head back to Gatlinburg for a few days. We wanted some time to just "get away."

Kim and our 2 1/2 week old son.

Three months later, we celebrated our second anniversary on May 10th and then welcomed Zach's arrive on May 13. Zach was finally here - but with complications. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice and he was strangling. When he was removed via emergency C-section, he was dark, dark blue. Kim cried on the operating table because she thought that her son had died. She couldn't bear a third death in only 2 years. And I knew what she was thinking - she felt that it was her fault because her body was grieving over her mother's recent death. It seemed like an eternity in that operating room (it was probably only seconds) before Zach let out a glorious cry. He cried, and cried, and we loved it! Kim and I shed tears of joy as the doctor put Kim back together.

Zach was 3 weeks old when we took him to visit his grandmother's grave.

As life settled back down, again, I resumed work on my master's degree at Southern Seminary in Louisville. I had never anticipated taking 2 years off when I got married and moved to Lexington but God had different plans.

Also in this year, our beloved church went through an ugly split. I blame it primarily on incompetent leadership. A vote was forced by the pastor and the large congregation was soon meeting in two locations. We attended both congregations for a few weeks but then decided to move to Georgetown. It was at that point that we joined the family of Gano Avenue Baptist Church. We made friendships in a couple of years in that church that we still enjoy!

2000

We spent this year settling into life with our precious son. We had purchased a house in Georgetown, Kentucky and were enjoying our first experience with home ownership. Our new church home embraced us and we became involved in the young married couples class.

2001

This pictures was taken a day after Sean was born.

In June, Sean arrived! Kim's OBGYN, who had delivered so many of Sean's cousins, was on vacation. So, we were diverted to a different hospital (UK Medical Center) and Sean would be delivered by a doctor we didn't know. However, in God's watchful care, He had orchestrated the events so that the doctor had a special last name. His name was Dr. Zachman. "Zachman" was the nickname we had previously given Zach at that time in his life. We knew that God was watching over us. 

However, God's watchful care doesn't make us immune to difficulty. It simply comforts us while we are going through the difficulty. During the C-section to deliver Sean, the intern allowed the epidural to run out. As they removed Sean, Kim was beginning to cry and complain of pain. The intern said that it was just pressure. When they began to sew her back up, she began screaming and they finally listened. They tossed me out of the operating room and from across the hall, I heard her crying in pain. I felt helpless, anxious, furious and a varied number of other emotions. However, after the trauma of the whole thing settled down, Kim and I agreed that it was an accident, that there was no ill-intent, and we forgave them (the intern never visited our room after the surgery, though).

For me, this was an exhausting year. A year earlier, it was ripping Kim's heart out that she wasn't able to stay home with Zach in his young, formative years. So, I told her that she could quit her job and I would do whatever I had to do to make ends meet. At one point, I was working a full-time job as a machinist, delivering pizzas in the evenings, and filling in as the part-time worship leader at Gano Avenue Baptist Church. But, my family is worth it!

2002

Bro. Wallace York with Zach. At Bro. York's invitation, I came to explore
 Donaldson Baptist Church in Princeton, Kentucky.

We continued to enjoy life as a family. But, I was growing restless. I knew that I was called to preach but I was only serving as a worship minister and only part-time at that. About that time, a dear pastor friend of mine, Bro. Wallace York, called from Princeton, Kentucky and told me about a church in the area that was looking for a pastor. I went down for a preliminary visit in March but came away uncertain ... even a little scared. I was taking care of my wife and 2 sons but if I were to move, we'd have to sell our house (we hardly had any equity) and how in the world could I financially swing it? Bro. Wallace assured me that if God called me there, He'd provide for me. (I'm not sure when I went for the trial sermon. Unfortunately, I didn't document that. I just remember Bro. Wallace rattling his keys on the front row when my "trial sermon" was going long. HA)

The cast from the "Amazing Love" Easter drama.

In March, I led in a large Easter drama at Gano. I cannot adequately express how amazing it was that people rallied around it to make it happen. God did some incredible things! And by the time we performed our last showing, well over 700 people had come to see it. For our small, family church, that number was astronomical. The wonderful thing is that God was the One who got the glory for it. And everyone knew it. I can't imagine a better way to leave a church family you love than on a high-note that leaves everyone with such fond memories.

We had heard on this day that Kim had what looked to be cancer. She was
facing surgery on Monday. What in the world do you tell your toddler sons?

But, God wasn't finished with us yet. We were about to go into another very dark valley before I became Donaldson Baptist Church's pastor. Kim had been having some suspicious symptoms so she had some tests run. On May 2, 2002, Kim and I were sitting in a patient's room in Lexington Clinic awaiting the doctor with the results. (It did not go unnoticed that this was the same clinic in which we had sat with Kim's mom when she got the bad news.) Dr. Monnig came in and said that the test results made it look like Kim had cancer. There was a tumor in one of her kidneys the size of a golf ball and he recommended, because of it's location, that the whole kidney be extracted. A surgery date was set up for the following Monday. Our church family at Gano prayed over us that Sunday morning and another young lady who was also set to have brain surgery in the same hospital (St. Joseph Hospital) on the same day.

The surgery on Monday, May 6th, went as planned. There were only a few complications. But, it was confirmed that the mass was cancer. It was Renal cell carcenoma. After a few days in the hospital, we were headed home to Georgetown.

But, now, another problem arises! We had a three year old and a one year old. How in the world could Kim stay home to heal up from a major surgery (with no family nearby) with two toddlers and a husband who desperately needs to get back to work to make some money? Our church family at Gano Ave. did the unthinkable! Ladies volunteered to sit with Kim and watch the boys all day while I was away. Some of the ladies even took vacation days to spend with my wife! They made us meals and went above and beyond anything that we could have expected. 

Kim, in Myrtle Beach, talking with me on the phone. I stayed behind for
a few days to work on our house with a church friend. I also had a potential
buyer coming by. The Brock's and Wilson's flew me into Myrtle Beach
a couple of days after this picture was taken.

As Kim continued to heal and before heading to my first church, we went with some church friends to Myrtle Beach. It was a great time to relax and get refreshed before I took on the pressures of pastoring. We would soon be moving to Princeton, Kentucky!

(Click here to continue: "The Donaldson Baptist Church Years")

What are you worth? It's better than you could imagine!

So what are you worth and upon what do you base that worth?

These are important questions because so much of what goes on inside of our minds and hearts is touched by our answers.

• A desire to feel valuable is why it stings so badly when others ignore or mistreat us.
• A desire to feel valuable is why we feel ecstatic when others applaud us.
• A desire to feel valuable is often why we strive to excel in at least one area of life and celebrate our own personal achievements.

(By the way, isn't it comical that a society filled with people who want to feel valuable is insistent on teaching a theory of science that says we evolved from monkeys, are here by accident, and that nothing we do is of any lasting / eternal worth?)

So, as Christians, what is the basis for our worth?

• Is it who our parents are?
• Is it how much money we have?
• Is it our previous accomplishments?
• Is it how attractive we may be?
• Is it the size of our house or the location of our neighborhood?
• Is it the color of our skin?
• Is it how valuable others perceive us to be?

All of these and more are often used as the basis for our worth. But, they are superficial. 

Further, they can be outdone by others. (Have you ever heard a conversation between two individuals who were trying to impress each other with their personal achievements or where they vacationed or ... whatever? They were both talking and neither one was listening. They both craved to be impress and be affirmed by each other but were too busy focusing on themselves.)

So, what is your value based upon? Simply read the following text:

Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

Simply put, this is what your value is based upon. You, my friend, are God's masterpiece. Further, you don't bear the image of monkeys - you bear the image of the God who created the universe! Go outside tonight and look up at the massive night's sky and meditate on the fact that the God who spoke those stars into existence also made you, my friend!

Now some folks deny that we are still created in the image of God. With their fingers pointed on Genesis 5:3, they say that we are now created in Adam's sinful, fallen image - not God's.

Genesis 5:3 "When Adam had lived 130 years, he fathered a son in his own likeness, after his image, and named him Seth."

Yet, when we read a few more chapters and arrive at Genesis 9, we get to listen in on a conversation that God had with Noah. Listen to the basis upon which God required that a murderer receive the death penalty...

Genesis 9:6 "Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image."

So, we are still created in the image of God. Every single person has value. 

• Those who are Jesus-followers and those who are not have value. 
• Those who are "red, yellow, black, and white are all precious in His sight." 
• Those who are intellectual giants and those who are mentally challenged have value. 
• Those who are elderly and those who are moments after conception have value.
• Those who live on both sides of the tracks have value.
• Etc., etc., etc.

Every single human being has value! And this means you, friend!

And if you are a Jesus-follower, then you aren't simply generally valuable - you are specifically valuable. You are a child of God and Jesus is your elder brother. You have royal blood flowing through your veins and you will one day walk streets of gold!

So, don't hang your head today. You are filled with unimaginable intrinsic worth that cannot be taken from you. Your value is not found in yourself but in the God who created you. What He says is all that matters and He is telling you that you are His masterpiece made in His likeness.

... and by the way, when we find out value in ourselves, it not only is based upon something fleeting - it also makes us arrogant. But, when we find our value in the God who made us, then that is something that can never be taken away and it gives us a very healthy, humble attitude.

So, live the moments of this day reflecting on the fact that the God of all creation has declared you valuable and realize that God has declared the same thing of every person you bump into.

January 1 - Through the Bible in a Year

Today's Bible Reading:
Genesis 1:1-2:25
Matthew 1:1-2:12
Psalm 1:1-6
Proverbs 1:1-6

Bible verse(s) for the Day:

Psalm 1:1-2 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, not sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night."

Some of my reflections on today's reading:
Let's be honest. No, let's be brutally honest! We will start with the sobering news and end with great news.

Far too many folks who profess to be Jesus followers are simply playing games with God and their eternity. They claim that they have "said a prayer" and are on their way to Heaven. Yet, while they may have a striking resemblance to their "Christian" friends, they look nothing like Jesus.

Yes, we live by grace. In fact, if we are completely honest with ourselves and others, we desperately need regular doses of grace. Every day, we find ourselves falling at the foot of the cross asking once again for forgiveness for a sinful action, oversight, word, thought, attitude, or motive.

Yet, too often, it seems as if people who claim to be Jesus-followers are presuming upon God's grace. They assume that God is going to forgive them of any sin and fault. So, they live for themselves. They don't read God's Word and pursue holiness. They settle for simply trying to be good. And they measure their goodness based not upon the Bible but upon how their peers are living. They tolerate sin in their life because, after all, "no one is perfect." So, they continue tolerating sin and periodically offer up trite prayers in their attempt to clear the decks.

This sort of attitude angered the Apostle Paul:

"What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" (Romans 6:1-2).

Did you notice Paul's statement, "By no means!"? The word he used in Greek was about as harsh a word as you can use without cursing.

So, what are we to do? 

Pursue holiness! 

"Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord." (Hebrews 12:14).

How do we become holy, more like Jesus? The answer to that question is the same as this question: "How can I be happy/blessed?" Apply Psalm 6:1-2!

Psalm 1:1-2 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, not sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night."

Absolutely refuse to engage in sin in any form! Even if the sin seems trivial, don't do it! When you sin, and we will(!), immediately drop to your knees, ask for forgiveness and cleansing and receive it.

Notice in verse 1 that there is a progression (or really a regression): first, the man is walking with sinners, then he slows down to stand with them, then he slows down even more to sit with them. Further, notice that he begins with personally engaging in sin and eventually develops a calloused heart with which he scoffs at those striving to pursue holiness. 

Everything about sin moves us, slowly but surely, away from Jesus and our journey toward holiness.

I've counseled enough people and know from my own sinful heart that sin, whatever it is (big or small), is a poison. It appeals to our sin nature and the first dose often feels great. But, eventually it doesn't satisfy like it once did and we may soon realize that it is seeking to destroy us. In reality, it is insane that we keep going after sin to satisfy the longing inside of us that can only be satisfied with Jesus.

Instead of engaging in harmful sin, what must we do? We develop an appetite for God's Word, we read it, and we find joy in reflecting on it and complying with it (Psalm 6:2).

Friend, God's Word is not intended to steal your fun. It is intended to warn us of what will steal our joy and our fellowship with God. God wants us to be blessed! He wants us to be happy in Him, regardless of what is going on in our life. 

But, in order to get that joy, we've got to despise sin and love God's Word. We've got to reject sin and pursue holiness (progressively becoming more like Jesus). 

Will you make that your aim today as you depend upon the Lord for the strength to do so?